It has literally been forever since the last time I was on here. Which is funny because I think in the last month, I've learned so many lessons about the world, other people, and myself, and just haven't had any time to document them. But don't worry, I won't write them all on this one post. Hopefully, I will get back into the swing of things and blog more often.
This summer has been an interesting one to say the least. It's the first summer in about five years that I've actually been "on my own" and I'm taking it day by day. A word that has come up a little more than I'd like in the past few months has been the word, "change." I was never afraid of this word, nor did it ever have much of an effect on me. It was always just an inevitable process that was going to happen to everyone, including me. I guess I just never knew to what level of degree that word was going to have on my life. I've seen it take it's toll on many people's lives, including my family and friends and honestly, never thought twice about it. But now it seems as though I cannot escape it. Even though I want to run and hide in my basement all by myself and shut out all the worries about the future, the emotion between two people that has seemed to completely disappear, the pain the last 7 months has caused, and everything that is changing in my life. I just want to shut it all out and hide. Yet, I know that running away from my troubles is not what I was raised to do. I was raised to confront them, and deal with them whether I wanted to or not.
The thing is, is that I'm sick of dealing with everything. I'm so sick of having it all shoved in my face and breaking down right when I think that I'm strong. But I've learned that all the cliches in life are true. When life gives you one hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile. So the next few days, I'm going to be looking for my reasons. My task for you, find yours too.
Sing in the shower, make some cookies, and always
stay.beautiful
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