"When you see a cloud rising in the west you say immediately that it is going to rain--and so it does."
As I finished the reading, I didn't really think twice about what He meant by that. Then He goes on to say,
"You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky; why do you not know how to interpret the present time?"
Oh, okay. I get you Jesus. It finally registers in my mind that the way we perceive things is most likely how they are going to be. If we "see the clouds coming" and expect rain, it's probably going to rain. However, if we perceive that it is going to be sunny, then the sun will probably come out. This is what I needed to hear right now in my life. The attitude and energy that I give off to the universe and have in certain situations is what is going to come back to me; whether that's school, work, friendships, or relationships.
I've had such a negative, independent attitude towards all things love and relationships because of past wounds or scars (many of which I'm now realizing were caused by myself) that now every time God opens a door, I automatically expect the rain. I start to think of all the ways it's not going to work or what could go wrong that I fail to be present in that moment. Something I've realized (though some may say "duh Hannah") is that expecting rain isn't going to bring me sunshine. Yes, it's okay to acknowledge wounds and scars. However, acknowledging them doesn't mean giving them the power to control your life right now. I need to open our eyes to the fact that I'm not the only person out there who has scars and who is scared. Whether that may be a fear of the unknown future, or the fear of opening up and letting people into my heart to see those scars. Everyone is scared to some extent. Whether or not they want to admit it, everyone is scared to reveal their vulnerable side or their insecurities--and that's okay. We aren't meant to lay out our whole lives to everyone right when we meet them. However, something I've struggled with is striving for this perfect, "I-have-it-all-together" image that couldn't be farther from the truth.
If we don't acknowledge that we are sinners and that we are actually incredibly flawed and imperfect, we're basically saying that Christ's Passion and Death were for nothing. If we aren't sinners, He came for nothing.
Although the hardest thing in the world is to admit that we're wrong, that is the exact thing that is going to allow us to open ourselves up to not only Christ, but to others. And once we start allowing others to see the REAL us and not the image of who we want them to think we are, is when we will be able to recognize and be grateful for all the doors God has been opening up all along.
Sometimes the rain comes even when we don't see the clouds up ahead. But the worst thing we can do to ourselves is think that we are alone. Look around you; someone is waiting for your sunshine.
