A lot of things have been happening recently that have caused me to take a step back from my life and ponder things. I guess that's what this blog is all about, writing about the things I have learned from these such times. It's hard not to take a step back and think about the past while I pack up my room, and my life pretty much, to move into the dorms for college. I've come across a lot of old pictures and writings and more pictures, that remind me of the years I spent at Pius. What an amazing four years I just spent of my life. I look back on high school and it just makes me smile. If you would've asked me to do that a week ago, I wouldn't have had the same reaction. It was hard to look back at high school (and my relationship) and actually be happy that it happened. I said to myself many times, "If it was going to end like this, why did it even happen?" Unfortunately, those words even came out of my mouth as I was talking to my second sister Brit. The words she came back with stuck in my head for the rest of the night. She said, "I think it happened because it taught you how to love someone that much." I look back on it now and hit myself in the head. Duh...
I said in my last blog that it felt like the love between two people just disappeared and I still think that it feels that way but I know that isn't the truth. The past few days I've come to realize that love never ceases to exist between two people. It may not show itself as vividly, but I refuse to believe that if you have truly loved someone with all your heart, that that love just goes away. A lady I work with told me, "Instead of being sad or upset about someone or something, send blessings their way." I think in any circumstance, that is the key thing. As hard as it is, be happy for that person. So wherever you are, I am sending blessings your way. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I hope life treats you exceptionally well.
I've learned to never try and plan your life, that's His job. And whether you believe it or not, everything will always work out according to His plan. So right now, I am putting all my trust in the Big Guy. He knows what He's doing.
Say a prayer, never stop loving, and always
stay.beautiful
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
where to begin..
It has literally been forever since the last time I was on here. Which is funny because I think in the last month, I've learned so many lessons about the world, other people, and myself, and just haven't had any time to document them. But don't worry, I won't write them all on this one post. Hopefully, I will get back into the swing of things and blog more often.
This summer has been an interesting one to say the least. It's the first summer in about five years that I've actually been "on my own" and I'm taking it day by day. A word that has come up a little more than I'd like in the past few months has been the word, "change." I was never afraid of this word, nor did it ever have much of an effect on me. It was always just an inevitable process that was going to happen to everyone, including me. I guess I just never knew to what level of degree that word was going to have on my life. I've seen it take it's toll on many people's lives, including my family and friends and honestly, never thought twice about it. But now it seems as though I cannot escape it. Even though I want to run and hide in my basement all by myself and shut out all the worries about the future, the emotion between two people that has seemed to completely disappear, the pain the last 7 months has caused, and everything that is changing in my life. I just want to shut it all out and hide. Yet, I know that running away from my troubles is not what I was raised to do. I was raised to confront them, and deal with them whether I wanted to or not.
The thing is, is that I'm sick of dealing with everything. I'm so sick of having it all shoved in my face and breaking down right when I think that I'm strong. But I've learned that all the cliches in life are true. When life gives you one hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile. So the next few days, I'm going to be looking for my reasons. My task for you, find yours too.
Sing in the shower, make some cookies, and always
stay.beautiful
This summer has been an interesting one to say the least. It's the first summer in about five years that I've actually been "on my own" and I'm taking it day by day. A word that has come up a little more than I'd like in the past few months has been the word, "change." I was never afraid of this word, nor did it ever have much of an effect on me. It was always just an inevitable process that was going to happen to everyone, including me. I guess I just never knew to what level of degree that word was going to have on my life. I've seen it take it's toll on many people's lives, including my family and friends and honestly, never thought twice about it. But now it seems as though I cannot escape it. Even though I want to run and hide in my basement all by myself and shut out all the worries about the future, the emotion between two people that has seemed to completely disappear, the pain the last 7 months has caused, and everything that is changing in my life. I just want to shut it all out and hide. Yet, I know that running away from my troubles is not what I was raised to do. I was raised to confront them, and deal with them whether I wanted to or not.
The thing is, is that I'm sick of dealing with everything. I'm so sick of having it all shoved in my face and breaking down right when I think that I'm strong. But I've learned that all the cliches in life are true. When life gives you one hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile. So the next few days, I'm going to be looking for my reasons. My task for you, find yours too.
Sing in the shower, make some cookies, and always
stay.beautiful
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