Think back to the old Disney movies we watched as kids and grew up with. If you watch them today, you will probably understand them better and grow to love them even more than you once did. There are so many lessons in these movies, not only for children but for adults as well. One saying that I think we've all heard many times but looked over is from the very famous toy, Buzz Lightyear. He said, "To infinity and beyond." Now that I think back on it, I don't even know what he was talking about. But my sister and I were thinking about getting tattoos of this, one would say "to infinity" and the other "and beyond." For some reason, the "and beyond" part always stuck out to me. Here's why.
For the past couple years, my internal struggle has always been just being satisfied in life. In everything I do, whether it be school, fashion, my faith, or anything really I feel like I could've done something more. I feel like I could've been better at it if only I would've done this or that. Being satisfied with myself and others has always been something that I'm constantly struggling with. My main focus now though, is trying to be satisfied with Jesus. And saying that sounds so stupid and ridiculous but for some reason I just feel like my heart is constantly searching for something more, something better than what I have. I'm constantly worrying, thinking, waiting for something better. Even while I sit in church in front of Him, I feel like I'm not worth of Him and not worthy of all the amazing, countless blessings in my life.
I then read the quote from St. Augustine (if you haven't read about this guy, do it!) that said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Him." That's exactly what my heart is, restless. It can't seem to find a place to simply be. I'm constantly searching for whose the one that's going to make me feel satisfied and I think that's my first problem, no I know that's the problem. Waiting for a guy to be your savior is just asking for trouble. We women have so much to offer and so many times women (including myself) we think we need a guy to fulfill us, to complete us. Maybe I'm the only one, and I'm totally okay admitting that because I know that I'm wrong and I know that it's a struggle. But like Crystallina Evert writes in her book Captivating, "In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving." When a woman is trying to be beautiful and trying to act like she's happy without actually being so, she's transparent. People, especially guys, see right through that.
So back to my point.
I was recently talking to a very good friend of mine and I told him, "John, I'm just over this life. I'm so ready for the next one without all this petty drama and worrying." It's so beyond amazing to sit down and think about what we have to come. We honestly have no idea what our rewards are going to be in Heaven and I can not wait for that. Yeah, this life, love, all that is amazing and so exciting. But it's not what is going to save us. Our spouses, friends, families, they are here for us to help us glorify God better and get us to Heaven. Live this life glorifying God with all you do. I promise, you won't regret it.
To infinity, and beyond.
So much more beyond.
Eat, pray, love, and always
stay.beautiful
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
what letting go means....
I found this and thought I would share, it's a very important lesson:
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness which means, the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for another, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes. But to allow other to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective. It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to become the best I can be.
to let go is not to regret the bast, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less, trust in God more, and freely give the love He's given to me.
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness which means, the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for another, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes. But to allow other to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective. It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to become the best I can be.
to let go is not to regret the bast, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less, trust in God more, and freely give the love He's given to me.
Monday, July 2, 2012
and the world spins madly on...
Sometimes, life amazes me. Actually, most of the time it does. While driving home tonight from a super duper long day of work, I looked at the moon (full moon). For some reason, the moon has always fascinated me. No matter where you are in the ENTIRE world, you can see it shining. No matter what direction you are going, no matter where you are in the world whether it be Australia or Lincoln, NE it's always there. I can't help but relate it to God's love. I know, super cliche, but hear me out. Some people think that it's so hard to find happiness in the dark times of their lives. I'm not saying that it's easy because it isn't always easy, but God (or the moon ;] ) is always there. God's love for us isn't something that just comes around when life is going good, it's there when we don't even give Him the time of day. Or when we think we are "too busy" to pray, or even think about Him. The moon will still be shining on us, and He will still be pouring out His love to us.
Now on to the title of this blog. I came across a song a few days ago, called The World Spins Madly On... and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those songs that is kind of sad if you look up and listen to the lyrics. But for me, it's a positive thing. No matter what you do, no matter how sad you are about something, whether you let go of what's bothering you or let it eat away at you until you are nothing- the world spins madly on. Yeah, sure you can easily get caught up in what you don't have. You can cry all night about something that you've lost or wasn't really ever there at all, yet (you guessed it!) the world spins madly on.
The wonderful Fr. Holdren said to me recently, "Instead of nurturing the sorrows in life, nurture gratitude. When you get caught up in thinking about being sad about this or that and letting it spiral out of control, think of all the things you are grateful for." And the list of all the things I am thankful for is endless. Though it is so easy to get caught up in the negative things in life, the little things that make you want to give up, remember all the reasons you have to keep going. I read once, "When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life you have 1,000 reasons to smile." I've said that quote on here before and I repeat it because it's so good.
Keep being you, whoever that is. And never, ever let anyone change that.
Travel the world, take a jog, and always
stay.beautiful
for your viewing pleasure, here's the song :)
Now on to the title of this blog. I came across a song a few days ago, called The World Spins Madly On... and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those songs that is kind of sad if you look up and listen to the lyrics. But for me, it's a positive thing. No matter what you do, no matter how sad you are about something, whether you let go of what's bothering you or let it eat away at you until you are nothing- the world spins madly on. Yeah, sure you can easily get caught up in what you don't have. You can cry all night about something that you've lost or wasn't really ever there at all, yet (you guessed it!) the world spins madly on.
The wonderful Fr. Holdren said to me recently, "Instead of nurturing the sorrows in life, nurture gratitude. When you get caught up in thinking about being sad about this or that and letting it spiral out of control, think of all the things you are grateful for." And the list of all the things I am thankful for is endless. Though it is so easy to get caught up in the negative things in life, the little things that make you want to give up, remember all the reasons you have to keep going. I read once, "When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life you have 1,000 reasons to smile." I've said that quote on here before and I repeat it because it's so good.
Keep being you, whoever that is. And never, ever let anyone change that.
Travel the world, take a jog, and always
stay.beautiful
for your viewing pleasure, here's the song :)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
modesty
Wow, modesty?! What a loaded subject. But I thought I would give my input on it because I've been thinking/praying about it and feel the need to share my thoughts. Being a freshman in college, modesty is one of the last things girls are thinking about. Especially being in a sorority, it's so easy to just wear the tight skirt or put on the low cut shirt. And I'm not saying that I've perfected the "cute-but-still-modern-and-modest" style, because I most definitely have not. It's a subject that has been talked about in Bible studies around the world (I'm guessing) and a subject spoken about a lot between Catholic guys and girls trying to find a happy medium. Going to a Catholic high school, we were bombarded with the issues of modesty and never even got into a dance without going through "dress patrol". After searching endlessly through stores trying to find a dress that wasn't see-through or too revealing, I just decided to make my own (problem solved!) Even though it was a huge hassle, I can easily say that I am so extremely thankful that I grew up in a school that held me to higher standards and in a house that raised me to respect my own body and others and not dress like a slut.
But as I've gone off to college and had one year under my belt, I'm starting to see modesty in a different light. Of course modesty is and always will be an issue of how women dress. It is dressing in a way that calls men to see not only the mere parts of your body in which you show off, but to see women's souls and personalities rather than solely their bodies. As a fashion design major, my main goal is to make the fashion industry and the world realize how much we could change if women just started respecting themselves more and dressed more modestly. (Keep me and all that in your prayers). But what I want to talk about here is the deeper part of modesty. Not only the clothing and the covering up the body but another aspect: guarding your heart.
One Bible verse that has always stuck our to me is this, "Above all else, guard your heart. For in it are the sources of life." -Proverbs 4:23 Holy crap, right?! "Above ALL ELSE" not, "guard your body then your heart" but "above everything, guard your heart." God tells us that our hearts are the most sacred part of us, and how true is that? I'll answer that for you, super true. So what does this have to do with modesty? Well, have you ever heard of emotional chastity? If you haven't, you're in for a journey. If you have, you can attest to my saying it might be one of the hardest things ever. Basically for girls it means, when you meet a guy that you may potentially like and he may potentially like you, don't go tell all your friends how you guys are going to get married and creep him on Facebook and picture how your name and his last name sound together. And if you tell me you've never done that, you're lying because we all have.
To guard our hearts I feel like is one of, if not the most important thing we have to do. In our day and age, especially in college, the majority of guys are looking for one thing. And what's the one way they linger us in? By telling us the things that will make us believe them and make us believe that our hearts will be safe in their hands. Even guys know that the way to win girls over is by going for their "heart" to get into their pants. In my Morality class junior year of high school, Father Faulkner said, "Guys use love to get sex. And girls use sex to get love." Which is the sad truth.
So what's the point of all of this?
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that guarding your body and keeping your virginity and all that good stuff is super important and I'm 100% for staying pure of body. But I want to challenge you, guys or girls, to stay pure of heart. It's easy for me to put on modest clothes and say I'm modest, but I think modesty goes further then that. It's not only guarding your "body" but guarding your heart as well. It's just like the saying, "If you give a piece of your body away to multiple random guys, what's left for your husband?" I'm saying, If you give little pieces of your heart away to guys that aren't worthy of it and don't deserve it, what are you going to have to give to your soulmate who has proven his love and worth to you?
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us
Stay classy San Diego, (and modest) and always,
stay.beautiful
But as I've gone off to college and had one year under my belt, I'm starting to see modesty in a different light. Of course modesty is and always will be an issue of how women dress. It is dressing in a way that calls men to see not only the mere parts of your body in which you show off, but to see women's souls and personalities rather than solely their bodies. As a fashion design major, my main goal is to make the fashion industry and the world realize how much we could change if women just started respecting themselves more and dressed more modestly. (Keep me and all that in your prayers). But what I want to talk about here is the deeper part of modesty. Not only the clothing and the covering up the body but another aspect: guarding your heart.
One Bible verse that has always stuck our to me is this, "Above all else, guard your heart. For in it are the sources of life." -Proverbs 4:23 Holy crap, right?! "Above ALL ELSE" not, "guard your body then your heart" but "above everything, guard your heart." God tells us that our hearts are the most sacred part of us, and how true is that? I'll answer that for you, super true. So what does this have to do with modesty? Well, have you ever heard of emotional chastity? If you haven't, you're in for a journey. If you have, you can attest to my saying it might be one of the hardest things ever. Basically for girls it means, when you meet a guy that you may potentially like and he may potentially like you, don't go tell all your friends how you guys are going to get married and creep him on Facebook and picture how your name and his last name sound together. And if you tell me you've never done that, you're lying because we all have.
To guard our hearts I feel like is one of, if not the most important thing we have to do. In our day and age, especially in college, the majority of guys are looking for one thing. And what's the one way they linger us in? By telling us the things that will make us believe them and make us believe that our hearts will be safe in their hands. Even guys know that the way to win girls over is by going for their "heart" to get into their pants. In my Morality class junior year of high school, Father Faulkner said, "Guys use love to get sex. And girls use sex to get love." Which is the sad truth.
So what's the point of all of this?
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that guarding your body and keeping your virginity and all that good stuff is super important and I'm 100% for staying pure of body. But I want to challenge you, guys or girls, to stay pure of heart. It's easy for me to put on modest clothes and say I'm modest, but I think modesty goes further then that. It's not only guarding your "body" but guarding your heart as well. It's just like the saying, "If you give a piece of your body away to multiple random guys, what's left for your husband?" I'm saying, If you give little pieces of your heart away to guys that aren't worthy of it and don't deserve it, what are you going to have to give to your soulmate who has proven his love and worth to you?
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us
Stay classy San Diego, (and modest) and always,
stay.beautiful
Thursday, May 24, 2012
reason, season, or a lifetime
One of my best friends once told me, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." I've thought about this and couldn't agree more with my beautiful Jessica. Every person in our lives, whether it's someone we just met, someone we just saw walking on the street, our best friend, whoever it is, came into your life because God put them there. It's kind of crazy if you think about it. The random person that smiled at you when you were having an awful day was kind of like a little angel God sent just for you. It's easy to look at the people we have in our lives now and determine that they will be in our lives forever. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us something. Sometimes they come into our lives to show us how much we can love someone. The hardest ones though, are the people that come into our lives to teach us how strong we actually are.
It's beautiful, this life we have here. If you take a step back to look at how everything plays out, it's pretty crazy how God does it all. I worry so much about what's to come and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but when I take a step back, I really have absolutely nothing to worry about. People come into our lives sometimes for a brief moment to show us everything will be okay. Others come into our lives for a season to help us get back onto the path we were supposed to be on or to show us that we don't want to be on the path they are. And others come into our lives for a lifetime, those ones are called soul mates.
Next time you have a random encounter with someone, or they make you think twice about something, remember they were put there for a reason.
Stop worrying, let go, and always
stay.beautiful
It's beautiful, this life we have here. If you take a step back to look at how everything plays out, it's pretty crazy how God does it all. I worry so much about what's to come and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but when I take a step back, I really have absolutely nothing to worry about. People come into our lives sometimes for a brief moment to show us everything will be okay. Others come into our lives for a season to help us get back onto the path we were supposed to be on or to show us that we don't want to be on the path they are. And others come into our lives for a lifetime, those ones are called soul mates.
Next time you have a random encounter with someone, or they make you think twice about something, remember they were put there for a reason.
Stop worrying, let go, and always
stay.beautiful
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
moments
moments. stop and think of the last time you slowed down and actually cherished the passing moment. there are so many in our lives. there are moments in our lives when we have no idea what's going on and have no idea where we are going. there's moments when we think we have our whole lives planned out and it suddenly all comes crashing down in the blink of an eye. there's moments when sometimes you feel like you just have to give up and let fate take over. there's moments when you have been so strong for so long that a breakdown is inevitable.
yet, there are also those moments when you can't imagine ever being happier. those moments that you never want to end, that feel like a movie. those moments when you think that nothing can ever go wrong. the moments where everything is just right. where the people in your life make you feel like you are becoming the best you can be.
i guess lately i've been so caught up that I haven't taken a step back to recognize them all. the moments that taught me life lessons. the moments in which i couldn't hold on any longer, so I held on to God instead. we always hear that life is about these moments, but do any of us really recognize that? it's just crazy to me that there is so much more to this life then what we see in front of us. the past happened so you could be right here, right now. and right now is happening so that the future can be brighter then you've ever imagined. whether or not you know what's going to be in your life, don't forget to cherish these moments now. because you will never, ever get them back.
my advice to you tonight, and to myself:
be happy. be sad. cry until you can't breathe. laugh until you can't breathe. smile at the ones who've hurt you. scream into your pillow. some nights, just go to sleep. stop thinking so much. when you think you can't go anymore, just take one more step. when love comes around, just jump. don't hold anything back, ever.
forever,
stay.beautiful
Saturday, April 21, 2012
finding what's been lost.
Just some random thoughts again that I need/ want to get down while they are running through my head. I've been so freaking confused lately. About what you ask? I'd like to know myself actually. I feel like in high school, I knew who I was, and who I wanted to be. I didn't care what people thought about me, I just did my own thing. Yet once I got to college, I feel like conformity is what EVERYONE is doing. Literally. And especially being in a sorority (not bashing it, I can't explain how glad I am to be in G-Phi) but you get what I'm saying. The need to feel a part of the group, wearing bows, heels, short skirts, being tan, etc., etc. It's just all getting too much for me. I'm losing me. And I'm not sure if this is too much, too personal for the blogging world but I just need to get it out. I'm losing who I want to become. I always always wanted to be different and I didn't care that people thought I was. I liked how people knew me as the girl that doesn't dress like everyone else and I was known by my style. Now, what's special about me? How am I any different then any other girl on campus trying to figure out who she is supposed to be and trying to impress anyone and everyone around her but losing herself instead?
I keep wondering about what other people think of certain things and how I'm perceived by others but what does it even matter? Why the hell am I so freaking concerned with what everyone else thinks about me? Who knows. If anyone can tell me, I'd greatly appreciate knowing. Anyways, I guess my quest now is just to figure out what I love- God, my family, fashion, art- and put my whole heart into that. I guess I just always feel like I need someone there, yet God constantly shows me that I'm okay on my own. And I just need to remember that I'm not alone. I'm not alone at all in fact. And to just be me. Whoever that is. I think one of the reasons why I've been lacking so much in inspiration and not being able to find any is because I'm looking. I need to stop looking, whether it be for inspiration, happiness, peace. Whatever it is I'm looking for, I need to stop looking. Because in the moment I stop looking, that's when I'm going to find it.
I guess the beauty of life isn't wondering what everyone else thinks about a situation, it's figuring out your opinions about things and never backing down from those. Life's about not staying true to what everyone else thinks, but staying true to yourself. Even if you're not quite sure who that is yet.
Lord,
Tonight, my plea to You is to help me to shape who I am going to become around You. I get so caught up in worldly things and that's when I lose my trust in You. Help me to know what You want me to do with my life. Open my heart to the graces that You constantly pour upon me and help me to know that anything that comes my way in the future, You will be there and give me the grace to overcome it. Just help me to let go, and let You work.
Amen.
be inspired, be independent, and always
stay.beautiful
I keep wondering about what other people think of certain things and how I'm perceived by others but what does it even matter? Why the hell am I so freaking concerned with what everyone else thinks about me? Who knows. If anyone can tell me, I'd greatly appreciate knowing. Anyways, I guess my quest now is just to figure out what I love- God, my family, fashion, art- and put my whole heart into that. I guess I just always feel like I need someone there, yet God constantly shows me that I'm okay on my own. And I just need to remember that I'm not alone. I'm not alone at all in fact. And to just be me. Whoever that is. I think one of the reasons why I've been lacking so much in inspiration and not being able to find any is because I'm looking. I need to stop looking, whether it be for inspiration, happiness, peace. Whatever it is I'm looking for, I need to stop looking. Because in the moment I stop looking, that's when I'm going to find it.
I guess the beauty of life isn't wondering what everyone else thinks about a situation, it's figuring out your opinions about things and never backing down from those. Life's about not staying true to what everyone else thinks, but staying true to yourself. Even if you're not quite sure who that is yet.
Lord,
Tonight, my plea to You is to help me to shape who I am going to become around You. I get so caught up in worldly things and that's when I lose my trust in You. Help me to know what You want me to do with my life. Open my heart to the graces that You constantly pour upon me and help me to know that anything that comes my way in the future, You will be there and give me the grace to overcome it. Just help me to let go, and let You work.
Amen.
be inspired, be independent, and always
stay.beautiful
Thursday, March 15, 2012
forgiveness.
Wow, I haven't been here for a while. Just a fair warning: this is probably going to be super long. Stop reading now if you don't have another 20 minutes to give me. Just kidding, don't stop reading. But I'm pretty serious about the length. :)
I've been thinking about this blog a lot lately. What I would say on my next post, who I want to see it, what message I want to get across to all my fellow bloggers, and non bloggers. The following words are what I've been pondering in my heart now for a while. So I think that it's time to finally get them down on paper...or computer. The title of this blog is simple: forgiveness. But holy crap, it might be the most difficult thing I've ever encountered; yet, I can't figure out why. My whole life I've been able to forgive people for things they have done to me. I've never been one to hold grudges and I commend myself for that. It's so easy to hold a grudge against someone and not forgive them for what they've done to you.
Side note: This weekend I went on a retreat called Koinonia. If you've never gone...GO! Seriously, it's the most amazing way to get away from the real world for a weekend and such a relaxing place to just figure out what is going on in your life. Last year, I went on a retreat just like it at this time. Amongst many, many things going on in my life, it was an awesome opportunity to surrender to God and really listen to what He was saying to me.
So on this retreat, I honestly didn't have anything to really think about (or so I thought.) Life has been going pretty good and I've just been trucking along through school, G-Phi, work, friends, family, etc. A few things have randomly come up that have thrown me off a little, but I haven't let them affect me and my prayer life has been at a really good place. But that was just the thing. All I was doing was going with the flow of things, not really knowing where I was going to. I realized that, not once, have I sat down and really thought about what God wanted for my life. I knew that what I had planned for my life what most definitely not what God had planned and I've finally come to peace with that. Now, I know what He doesn't want for me...but what DOES He want for me? I haven't yet figured that out. But over the next 54 (or so) days, I'm going to hopefully figure it out.
But back to the forgiveness thing. One thing I've been telling myself literally over, and over, and over, and over again is to "let go." Let go of anything in the way of my relationship with God. Let go of the past, it doesn't define you. Let go of anything that destroys your inner peace. Yada yada yada. What I've finally discovered (with God's help of course) is that to actually let go, to really have that inner peace that I've so long desired, I MUST forgive. And that scares the crap out of me. Forgive? Seriously? The past is in the past, let's keep it there, right? Wrong. I may tell myself to keep it there, but until I surrender my fears and hopes to God and forgive those (that one) that hurt me, I'm never going to be able to really, truly, let go. I read a quote, "God pushes us to love those we don't like." And how true is that. I'm not using this post to tell anyone that I've forgiven them, because I haven't yet. But I just want you guys to know that forgiveness may be one of the hardest things in life, but it is for sure one of the most amazing ways we can free ourselves and finally let go.
My challenge to you: embrace everything you have today, for you may not have it tomorrow. Forgive those who have hurt you, you will become freer than you've ever been. And finally, most importantly, never forget that you are worth it. Seriously. Every time you walk into mass and receive Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, He is telling you that you are worth it. You have to believe it yourself.
"If You want it Jesus, I want it too."
-Blessed Chiara
Remember you are worth it, forgive your enemies, and always
stay.beautiful
I've been thinking about this blog a lot lately. What I would say on my next post, who I want to see it, what message I want to get across to all my fellow bloggers, and non bloggers. The following words are what I've been pondering in my heart now for a while. So I think that it's time to finally get them down on paper...or computer. The title of this blog is simple: forgiveness. But holy crap, it might be the most difficult thing I've ever encountered; yet, I can't figure out why. My whole life I've been able to forgive people for things they have done to me. I've never been one to hold grudges and I commend myself for that. It's so easy to hold a grudge against someone and not forgive them for what they've done to you.
Side note: This weekend I went on a retreat called Koinonia. If you've never gone...GO! Seriously, it's the most amazing way to get away from the real world for a weekend and such a relaxing place to just figure out what is going on in your life. Last year, I went on a retreat just like it at this time. Amongst many, many things going on in my life, it was an awesome opportunity to surrender to God and really listen to what He was saying to me.
So on this retreat, I honestly didn't have anything to really think about (or so I thought.) Life has been going pretty good and I've just been trucking along through school, G-Phi, work, friends, family, etc. A few things have randomly come up that have thrown me off a little, but I haven't let them affect me and my prayer life has been at a really good place. But that was just the thing. All I was doing was going with the flow of things, not really knowing where I was going to. I realized that, not once, have I sat down and really thought about what God wanted for my life. I knew that what I had planned for my life what most definitely not what God had planned and I've finally come to peace with that. Now, I know what He doesn't want for me...but what DOES He want for me? I haven't yet figured that out. But over the next 54 (or so) days, I'm going to hopefully figure it out.
But back to the forgiveness thing. One thing I've been telling myself literally over, and over, and over, and over again is to "let go." Let go of anything in the way of my relationship with God. Let go of the past, it doesn't define you. Let go of anything that destroys your inner peace. Yada yada yada. What I've finally discovered (with God's help of course) is that to actually let go, to really have that inner peace that I've so long desired, I MUST forgive. And that scares the crap out of me. Forgive? Seriously? The past is in the past, let's keep it there, right? Wrong. I may tell myself to keep it there, but until I surrender my fears and hopes to God and forgive those (that one) that hurt me, I'm never going to be able to really, truly, let go. I read a quote, "God pushes us to love those we don't like." And how true is that. I'm not using this post to tell anyone that I've forgiven them, because I haven't yet. But I just want you guys to know that forgiveness may be one of the hardest things in life, but it is for sure one of the most amazing ways we can free ourselves and finally let go.
My challenge to you: embrace everything you have today, for you may not have it tomorrow. Forgive those who have hurt you, you will become freer than you've ever been. And finally, most importantly, never forget that you are worth it. Seriously. Every time you walk into mass and receive Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, He is telling you that you are worth it. You have to believe it yourself.
"If You want it Jesus, I want it too."
-Blessed Chiara
Remember you are worth it, forgive your enemies, and always
stay.beautiful
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