Today marks the first day of the hardest, most rewarding seasons of the year; Lent. This has always been a time of the year where we give something up: pop, TV, candy, etc. However, this year I opted for something a little bit different and my have I already felt the sacrifice. Want to know what this crazy, extravagant, super hard sacrifice is??
Yep, you guessed it. Facebook.
I'm sure some of you just rolled your eyes or let out a "come on, it's not that hard." Because that's what I thought at first too. Right after I posted a status that got 30 likes and non stop texts saying how beautiful I looked for formal I thought,"It's only 40 days, can't be that bad." Then the time came to change my password and my heart started racing, literally. I'm not kidding. I was actually scared to give up my Facebook and Twitter for 40 days. Lame, huh?
After going a day without Facebook and still catching myself trying to look for the icon on my phone, I took a step back to think about why this is really affecting me this much. It's social media for pete's sake-- it's not life or death. However, after contemplating it I think I've come to some sort of conclusion and here it is.
Detachment. is. hard.
Really hard. And I guess I never really, actually detached myself before from this kind of security blanket. Facebook--in this situation-- is all of my fears, all of my insecurities, all of my masks to make sure everyone knows how great of a life I am having. It's constantly in their face and I can make myself out to be whomever I want them to think that I am. (Note: I'm not anyone different then who I am on my Facebook, that's not what I'm trying to say.) But when someone says they are trying to work on humility, this is definitely the way to do it. People won't know about what's going on in your life unless they interact with you and experience it with you. People won't be able to boost your ego by liking your pictures or statuses or retweeting your tweet that was stolen from song lyrics. This, my friends, is delaying gratification to a "T".
I thought that I had let go and given my hopes and dreams and desires up to God. I thought that I let go of my fears of the future, fears of being forgotten, fears of not ever being good enough. I thought all of that was behind me and that it had all gone away. Goes to show, it's a lot easier to think that you've let things go when you've actually just become really good at shoving them underneath your pillow.
The great thing is that the harder Lent is for you, the greater Easter will be. My amazing high school Guidance Counselor, Jan Frayser, once said to me, "You can't have the hope of the Resurrection without the struggle of the cross." Those words will never cease to bring a smile to my face. This cross and life we have right here, no matter what happens in it there will always be the hope of the Resurrection. So although I have a lot of detachments to rid myself of during this next 40 days, I have so much hope that God will overwhelm my heart with His love and blow my mind like He always seems to do.
"Whoever wishes to be my follower must deny his very self, take up his cross, and follow in my steps."
Lk 9:23
Go count your blessings, never give up hope, and always
stay.beautiful
