Think back to the old Disney movies we watched as kids and grew up with. If you watch them today, you will probably understand them better and grow to love them even more than you once did. There are so many lessons in these movies, not only for children but for adults as well. One saying that I think we've all heard many times but looked over is from the very famous toy, Buzz Lightyear. He said, "To infinity and beyond." Now that I think back on it, I don't even know what he was talking about. But my sister and I were thinking about getting tattoos of this, one would say "to infinity" and the other "and beyond." For some reason, the "and beyond" part always stuck out to me. Here's why.
For the past couple years, my internal struggle has always been just being satisfied in life. In everything I do, whether it be school, fashion, my faith, or anything really I feel like I could've done something more. I feel like I could've been better at it if only I would've done this or that. Being satisfied with myself and others has always been something that I'm constantly struggling with. My main focus now though, is trying to be satisfied with Jesus. And saying that sounds so stupid and ridiculous but for some reason I just feel like my heart is constantly searching for something more, something better than what I have. I'm constantly worrying, thinking, waiting for something better. Even while I sit in church in front of Him, I feel like I'm not worth of Him and not worthy of all the amazing, countless blessings in my life.
I then read the quote from St. Augustine (if you haven't read about this guy, do it!) that said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Him." That's exactly what my heart is, restless. It can't seem to find a place to simply be. I'm constantly searching for whose the one that's going to make me feel satisfied and I think that's my first problem, no I know that's the problem. Waiting for a guy to be your savior is just asking for trouble. We women have so much to offer and so many times women (including myself) we think we need a guy to fulfill us, to complete us. Maybe I'm the only one, and I'm totally okay admitting that because I know that I'm wrong and I know that it's a struggle. But like Crystallina Evert writes in her book Captivating, "In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving." When a woman is trying to be beautiful and trying to act like she's happy without actually being so, she's transparent. People, especially guys, see right through that.
So back to my point.
I was recently talking to a very good friend of mine and I told him, "John, I'm just over this life. I'm so ready for the next one without all this petty drama and worrying." It's so beyond amazing to sit down and think about what we have to come. We honestly have no idea what our rewards are going to be in Heaven and I can not wait for that. Yeah, this life, love, all that is amazing and so exciting. But it's not what is going to save us. Our spouses, friends, families, they are here for us to help us glorify God better and get us to Heaven. Live this life glorifying God with all you do. I promise, you won't regret it.
To infinity, and beyond.
So much more beyond.
Eat, pray, love, and always
stay.beautiful
