15 year old bright-eyed girl, with the loud laugh. Don’t be defined by your grades or your jersey number. You’re too good for that, even though right now you probably think that is all there is in life. Don’t let yourself be fooled. Your heart is gold. And the hurt that comes from the roots you’re planting your identity in right now are hard to heal. They’re deep. So be you—just Hannah. She’s enough. Teach yourself that now. Be grateful for the beginning that you are experiencing, the rock that is Pius. Thank the teachers around you who will be so much more to you than the name on your report card. Let them in.
p.s. Charf gives you your first B and down the road, Lauren is your saving grace.
18-year old beauty, gosh I wish I could hug you right now. It seems like it’s never going to go away. That hole. Let me reiterate what everyone is telling you, one day you will wake up and it will be okay. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the next day. But give it time. Just let it hurt, really, seriously, just sit there and let yourself feel it all. Right now you probably regret not going away for fashion school. Don’t. You have so much ahead of you even though you think this is an end, it’s actually a beautiful new beginning. Don’t put a timeline on your healing. It’s okay that your heart is fragile, looking back that’s my favorite part about you. You love hard and you hurt deep. Just let mom hold you and share her stories with you. Ask dad for a hug. Sis knows a thing or two about this too. Let them in.
p.s. This isn’t the end of the story.
21-year old crazy girl, I’m just laughing thinking about you right now. The memories are fun, the friends are even more fun. Fr. Holdren has good advice though, I want you to listen to him. Find the role this liquid comfort has in your life early. It does more harm than good unless you learn early. Just get it in your head now that they won’t like you less without it, they’ll respect you more. And soon you’ll come to respect yourself more too. Mistakes are fine, making the same one twice isn’t. It’s okay to be scared of the call—just don’t run into the arms of someone who doesn’t care. Run into His arms, He wants you more than you know. Let Him in.
p.s. Don’t give Bri your ID on NYE….
To my present day, not yet what I want to be but that’s okay, self. It’s okay that you aren’t where she wanted you to be by now. It’s okay that you’re not a married mom of two, living in Lincoln with stability and roots. It’s okay that you don’t have it figured out yet and it’s okay that the longing seems to take over when you least expect it. It’s okay to not feel okay all the time. But just know that those times you’ve felt heaven on earth, those are real. That is what joy feels like—true, abundant, full, lasting joy. And you have many of those moments up ahead. You will be okay. I promise.
p.s. This isn’t the end of the story.
No comments:
Post a Comment