Today marks the first day of the hardest, most rewarding seasons of the year; Lent. This has always been a time of the year where we give something up: pop, TV, candy, etc. However, this year I opted for something a little bit different and my have I already felt the sacrifice. Want to know what this crazy, extravagant, super hard sacrifice is??
Yep, you guessed it. Facebook.
I'm sure some of you just rolled your eyes or let out a "come on, it's not that hard." Because that's what I thought at first too. Right after I posted a status that got 30 likes and non stop texts saying how beautiful I looked for formal I thought,"It's only 40 days, can't be that bad." Then the time came to change my password and my heart started racing, literally. I'm not kidding. I was actually scared to give up my Facebook and Twitter for 40 days. Lame, huh?
After going a day without Facebook and still catching myself trying to look for the icon on my phone, I took a step back to think about why this is really affecting me this much. It's social media for pete's sake-- it's not life or death. However, after contemplating it I think I've come to some sort of conclusion and here it is.
Detachment. is. hard.
Really hard. And I guess I never really, actually detached myself before from this kind of security blanket. Facebook--in this situation-- is all of my fears, all of my insecurities, all of my masks to make sure everyone knows how great of a life I am having. It's constantly in their face and I can make myself out to be whomever I want them to think that I am. (Note: I'm not anyone different then who I am on my Facebook, that's not what I'm trying to say.) But when someone says they are trying to work on humility, this is definitely the way to do it. People won't know about what's going on in your life unless they interact with you and experience it with you. People won't be able to boost your ego by liking your pictures or statuses or retweeting your tweet that was stolen from song lyrics. This, my friends, is delaying gratification to a "T".
I thought that I had let go and given my hopes and dreams and desires up to God. I thought that I let go of my fears of the future, fears of being forgotten, fears of not ever being good enough. I thought all of that was behind me and that it had all gone away. Goes to show, it's a lot easier to think that you've let things go when you've actually just become really good at shoving them underneath your pillow.
The great thing is that the harder Lent is for you, the greater Easter will be. My amazing high school Guidance Counselor, Jan Frayser, once said to me, "You can't have the hope of the Resurrection without the struggle of the cross." Those words will never cease to bring a smile to my face. This cross and life we have right here, no matter what happens in it there will always be the hope of the Resurrection. So although I have a lot of detachments to rid myself of during this next 40 days, I have so much hope that God will overwhelm my heart with His love and blow my mind like He always seems to do.
"Whoever wishes to be my follower must deny his very self, take up his cross, and follow in my steps."
Lk 9:23
Go count your blessings, never give up hope, and always
stay.beautiful
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
to infinity and beyond.
Think back to the old Disney movies we watched as kids and grew up with. If you watch them today, you will probably understand them better and grow to love them even more than you once did. There are so many lessons in these movies, not only for children but for adults as well. One saying that I think we've all heard many times but looked over is from the very famous toy, Buzz Lightyear. He said, "To infinity and beyond." Now that I think back on it, I don't even know what he was talking about. But my sister and I were thinking about getting tattoos of this, one would say "to infinity" and the other "and beyond." For some reason, the "and beyond" part always stuck out to me. Here's why.
For the past couple years, my internal struggle has always been just being satisfied in life. In everything I do, whether it be school, fashion, my faith, or anything really I feel like I could've done something more. I feel like I could've been better at it if only I would've done this or that. Being satisfied with myself and others has always been something that I'm constantly struggling with. My main focus now though, is trying to be satisfied with Jesus. And saying that sounds so stupid and ridiculous but for some reason I just feel like my heart is constantly searching for something more, something better than what I have. I'm constantly worrying, thinking, waiting for something better. Even while I sit in church in front of Him, I feel like I'm not worth of Him and not worthy of all the amazing, countless blessings in my life.
I then read the quote from St. Augustine (if you haven't read about this guy, do it!) that said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Him." That's exactly what my heart is, restless. It can't seem to find a place to simply be. I'm constantly searching for whose the one that's going to make me feel satisfied and I think that's my first problem, no I know that's the problem. Waiting for a guy to be your savior is just asking for trouble. We women have so much to offer and so many times women (including myself) we think we need a guy to fulfill us, to complete us. Maybe I'm the only one, and I'm totally okay admitting that because I know that I'm wrong and I know that it's a struggle. But like Crystallina Evert writes in her book Captivating, "In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving." When a woman is trying to be beautiful and trying to act like she's happy without actually being so, she's transparent. People, especially guys, see right through that.
So back to my point.
I was recently talking to a very good friend of mine and I told him, "John, I'm just over this life. I'm so ready for the next one without all this petty drama and worrying." It's so beyond amazing to sit down and think about what we have to come. We honestly have no idea what our rewards are going to be in Heaven and I can not wait for that. Yeah, this life, love, all that is amazing and so exciting. But it's not what is going to save us. Our spouses, friends, families, they are here for us to help us glorify God better and get us to Heaven. Live this life glorifying God with all you do. I promise, you won't regret it.
To infinity, and beyond.
So much more beyond.
Eat, pray, love, and always
stay.beautiful
For the past couple years, my internal struggle has always been just being satisfied in life. In everything I do, whether it be school, fashion, my faith, or anything really I feel like I could've done something more. I feel like I could've been better at it if only I would've done this or that. Being satisfied with myself and others has always been something that I'm constantly struggling with. My main focus now though, is trying to be satisfied with Jesus. And saying that sounds so stupid and ridiculous but for some reason I just feel like my heart is constantly searching for something more, something better than what I have. I'm constantly worrying, thinking, waiting for something better. Even while I sit in church in front of Him, I feel like I'm not worth of Him and not worthy of all the amazing, countless blessings in my life.
I then read the quote from St. Augustine (if you haven't read about this guy, do it!) that said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Him." That's exactly what my heart is, restless. It can't seem to find a place to simply be. I'm constantly searching for whose the one that's going to make me feel satisfied and I think that's my first problem, no I know that's the problem. Waiting for a guy to be your savior is just asking for trouble. We women have so much to offer and so many times women (including myself) we think we need a guy to fulfill us, to complete us. Maybe I'm the only one, and I'm totally okay admitting that because I know that I'm wrong and I know that it's a struggle. But like Crystallina Evert writes in her book Captivating, "In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving." When a woman is trying to be beautiful and trying to act like she's happy without actually being so, she's transparent. People, especially guys, see right through that.
So back to my point.
I was recently talking to a very good friend of mine and I told him, "John, I'm just over this life. I'm so ready for the next one without all this petty drama and worrying." It's so beyond amazing to sit down and think about what we have to come. We honestly have no idea what our rewards are going to be in Heaven and I can not wait for that. Yeah, this life, love, all that is amazing and so exciting. But it's not what is going to save us. Our spouses, friends, families, they are here for us to help us glorify God better and get us to Heaven. Live this life glorifying God with all you do. I promise, you won't regret it.
To infinity, and beyond.
So much more beyond.
Eat, pray, love, and always
stay.beautiful
Thursday, August 16, 2012
what letting go means....
I found this and thought I would share, it's a very important lesson:
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness which means, the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for another, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes. But to allow other to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective. It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to become the best I can be.
to let go is not to regret the bast, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less, trust in God more, and freely give the love He's given to me.
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness which means, the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for another, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes. But to allow other to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective. It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to become the best I can be.
to let go is not to regret the bast, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less, trust in God more, and freely give the love He's given to me.
Monday, July 2, 2012
and the world spins madly on...
Sometimes, life amazes me. Actually, most of the time it does. While driving home tonight from a super duper long day of work, I looked at the moon (full moon). For some reason, the moon has always fascinated me. No matter where you are in the ENTIRE world, you can see it shining. No matter what direction you are going, no matter where you are in the world whether it be Australia or Lincoln, NE it's always there. I can't help but relate it to God's love. I know, super cliche, but hear me out. Some people think that it's so hard to find happiness in the dark times of their lives. I'm not saying that it's easy because it isn't always easy, but God (or the moon ;] ) is always there. God's love for us isn't something that just comes around when life is going good, it's there when we don't even give Him the time of day. Or when we think we are "too busy" to pray, or even think about Him. The moon will still be shining on us, and He will still be pouring out His love to us.
Now on to the title of this blog. I came across a song a few days ago, called The World Spins Madly On... and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those songs that is kind of sad if you look up and listen to the lyrics. But for me, it's a positive thing. No matter what you do, no matter how sad you are about something, whether you let go of what's bothering you or let it eat away at you until you are nothing- the world spins madly on. Yeah, sure you can easily get caught up in what you don't have. You can cry all night about something that you've lost or wasn't really ever there at all, yet (you guessed it!) the world spins madly on.
The wonderful Fr. Holdren said to me recently, "Instead of nurturing the sorrows in life, nurture gratitude. When you get caught up in thinking about being sad about this or that and letting it spiral out of control, think of all the things you are grateful for." And the list of all the things I am thankful for is endless. Though it is so easy to get caught up in the negative things in life, the little things that make you want to give up, remember all the reasons you have to keep going. I read once, "When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life you have 1,000 reasons to smile." I've said that quote on here before and I repeat it because it's so good.
Keep being you, whoever that is. And never, ever let anyone change that.
Travel the world, take a jog, and always
stay.beautiful
for your viewing pleasure, here's the song :)
Now on to the title of this blog. I came across a song a few days ago, called The World Spins Madly On... and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those songs that is kind of sad if you look up and listen to the lyrics. But for me, it's a positive thing. No matter what you do, no matter how sad you are about something, whether you let go of what's bothering you or let it eat away at you until you are nothing- the world spins madly on. Yeah, sure you can easily get caught up in what you don't have. You can cry all night about something that you've lost or wasn't really ever there at all, yet (you guessed it!) the world spins madly on.
The wonderful Fr. Holdren said to me recently, "Instead of nurturing the sorrows in life, nurture gratitude. When you get caught up in thinking about being sad about this or that and letting it spiral out of control, think of all the things you are grateful for." And the list of all the things I am thankful for is endless. Though it is so easy to get caught up in the negative things in life, the little things that make you want to give up, remember all the reasons you have to keep going. I read once, "When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life you have 1,000 reasons to smile." I've said that quote on here before and I repeat it because it's so good.
Keep being you, whoever that is. And never, ever let anyone change that.
Travel the world, take a jog, and always
stay.beautiful
for your viewing pleasure, here's the song :)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
modesty
Wow, modesty?! What a loaded subject. But I thought I would give my input on it because I've been thinking/praying about it and feel the need to share my thoughts. Being a freshman in college, modesty is one of the last things girls are thinking about. Especially being in a sorority, it's so easy to just wear the tight skirt or put on the low cut shirt. And I'm not saying that I've perfected the "cute-but-still-modern-and-modest" style, because I most definitely have not. It's a subject that has been talked about in Bible studies around the world (I'm guessing) and a subject spoken about a lot between Catholic guys and girls trying to find a happy medium. Going to a Catholic high school, we were bombarded with the issues of modesty and never even got into a dance without going through "dress patrol". After searching endlessly through stores trying to find a dress that wasn't see-through or too revealing, I just decided to make my own (problem solved!) Even though it was a huge hassle, I can easily say that I am so extremely thankful that I grew up in a school that held me to higher standards and in a house that raised me to respect my own body and others and not dress like a slut.
But as I've gone off to college and had one year under my belt, I'm starting to see modesty in a different light. Of course modesty is and always will be an issue of how women dress. It is dressing in a way that calls men to see not only the mere parts of your body in which you show off, but to see women's souls and personalities rather than solely their bodies. As a fashion design major, my main goal is to make the fashion industry and the world realize how much we could change if women just started respecting themselves more and dressed more modestly. (Keep me and all that in your prayers). But what I want to talk about here is the deeper part of modesty. Not only the clothing and the covering up the body but another aspect: guarding your heart.
One Bible verse that has always stuck our to me is this, "Above all else, guard your heart. For in it are the sources of life." -Proverbs 4:23 Holy crap, right?! "Above ALL ELSE" not, "guard your body then your heart" but "above everything, guard your heart." God tells us that our hearts are the most sacred part of us, and how true is that? I'll answer that for you, super true. So what does this have to do with modesty? Well, have you ever heard of emotional chastity? If you haven't, you're in for a journey. If you have, you can attest to my saying it might be one of the hardest things ever. Basically for girls it means, when you meet a guy that you may potentially like and he may potentially like you, don't go tell all your friends how you guys are going to get married and creep him on Facebook and picture how your name and his last name sound together. And if you tell me you've never done that, you're lying because we all have.
To guard our hearts I feel like is one of, if not the most important thing we have to do. In our day and age, especially in college, the majority of guys are looking for one thing. And what's the one way they linger us in? By telling us the things that will make us believe them and make us believe that our hearts will be safe in their hands. Even guys know that the way to win girls over is by going for their "heart" to get into their pants. In my Morality class junior year of high school, Father Faulkner said, "Guys use love to get sex. And girls use sex to get love." Which is the sad truth.
So what's the point of all of this?
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that guarding your body and keeping your virginity and all that good stuff is super important and I'm 100% for staying pure of body. But I want to challenge you, guys or girls, to stay pure of heart. It's easy for me to put on modest clothes and say I'm modest, but I think modesty goes further then that. It's not only guarding your "body" but guarding your heart as well. It's just like the saying, "If you give a piece of your body away to multiple random guys, what's left for your husband?" I'm saying, If you give little pieces of your heart away to guys that aren't worthy of it and don't deserve it, what are you going to have to give to your soulmate who has proven his love and worth to you?
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us
Stay classy San Diego, (and modest) and always,
stay.beautiful
But as I've gone off to college and had one year under my belt, I'm starting to see modesty in a different light. Of course modesty is and always will be an issue of how women dress. It is dressing in a way that calls men to see not only the mere parts of your body in which you show off, but to see women's souls and personalities rather than solely their bodies. As a fashion design major, my main goal is to make the fashion industry and the world realize how much we could change if women just started respecting themselves more and dressed more modestly. (Keep me and all that in your prayers). But what I want to talk about here is the deeper part of modesty. Not only the clothing and the covering up the body but another aspect: guarding your heart.
One Bible verse that has always stuck our to me is this, "Above all else, guard your heart. For in it are the sources of life." -Proverbs 4:23 Holy crap, right?! "Above ALL ELSE" not, "guard your body then your heart" but "above everything, guard your heart." God tells us that our hearts are the most sacred part of us, and how true is that? I'll answer that for you, super true. So what does this have to do with modesty? Well, have you ever heard of emotional chastity? If you haven't, you're in for a journey. If you have, you can attest to my saying it might be one of the hardest things ever. Basically for girls it means, when you meet a guy that you may potentially like and he may potentially like you, don't go tell all your friends how you guys are going to get married and creep him on Facebook and picture how your name and his last name sound together. And if you tell me you've never done that, you're lying because we all have.
To guard our hearts I feel like is one of, if not the most important thing we have to do. In our day and age, especially in college, the majority of guys are looking for one thing. And what's the one way they linger us in? By telling us the things that will make us believe them and make us believe that our hearts will be safe in their hands. Even guys know that the way to win girls over is by going for their "heart" to get into their pants. In my Morality class junior year of high school, Father Faulkner said, "Guys use love to get sex. And girls use sex to get love." Which is the sad truth.
So what's the point of all of this?
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that guarding your body and keeping your virginity and all that good stuff is super important and I'm 100% for staying pure of body. But I want to challenge you, guys or girls, to stay pure of heart. It's easy for me to put on modest clothes and say I'm modest, but I think modesty goes further then that. It's not only guarding your "body" but guarding your heart as well. It's just like the saying, "If you give a piece of your body away to multiple random guys, what's left for your husband?" I'm saying, If you give little pieces of your heart away to guys that aren't worthy of it and don't deserve it, what are you going to have to give to your soulmate who has proven his love and worth to you?
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us
Stay classy San Diego, (and modest) and always,
stay.beautiful
Thursday, May 24, 2012
reason, season, or a lifetime
One of my best friends once told me, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." I've thought about this and couldn't agree more with my beautiful Jessica. Every person in our lives, whether it's someone we just met, someone we just saw walking on the street, our best friend, whoever it is, came into your life because God put them there. It's kind of crazy if you think about it. The random person that smiled at you when you were having an awful day was kind of like a little angel God sent just for you. It's easy to look at the people we have in our lives now and determine that they will be in our lives forever. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us something. Sometimes they come into our lives to show us how much we can love someone. The hardest ones though, are the people that come into our lives to teach us how strong we actually are.
It's beautiful, this life we have here. If you take a step back to look at how everything plays out, it's pretty crazy how God does it all. I worry so much about what's to come and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but when I take a step back, I really have absolutely nothing to worry about. People come into our lives sometimes for a brief moment to show us everything will be okay. Others come into our lives for a season to help us get back onto the path we were supposed to be on or to show us that we don't want to be on the path they are. And others come into our lives for a lifetime, those ones are called soul mates.
Next time you have a random encounter with someone, or they make you think twice about something, remember they were put there for a reason.
Stop worrying, let go, and always
stay.beautiful
It's beautiful, this life we have here. If you take a step back to look at how everything plays out, it's pretty crazy how God does it all. I worry so much about what's to come and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but when I take a step back, I really have absolutely nothing to worry about. People come into our lives sometimes for a brief moment to show us everything will be okay. Others come into our lives for a season to help us get back onto the path we were supposed to be on or to show us that we don't want to be on the path they are. And others come into our lives for a lifetime, those ones are called soul mates.
Next time you have a random encounter with someone, or they make you think twice about something, remember they were put there for a reason.
Stop worrying, let go, and always
stay.beautiful
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