reason, season, or a lifetime

One of my best friends once told me, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." I've thought about this and couldn't agree more with my beautiful Jessica. Every person in our lives, whether it's someone we just met, someone we just saw walking on the street, our best friend, whoever it is, came into your life because God put them there. It's kind of crazy if you think about it. The random person that smiled at you when you were having an awful day was kind of like a little angel God sent just for you. It's easy to look at the people we have in our lives now and determine that they will be in our lives forever. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us something. Sometimes they come into our lives to show us how much we can love someone. The hardest ones though, are the people that come into our lives to teach us how strong we actually are.

It's beautiful, this life we have here. If you take a step back to look at how everything plays out, it's pretty crazy how God does it all. I worry so much about what's to come and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but when I take a step back, I really have absolutely nothing to worry about. People come into our lives sometimes for a brief moment to show us everything will be okay. Others come into our lives for a season to help us get back onto the path we were supposed to be on or to show us that we don't want to be on the path they are. And others come into our lives for a lifetime, those ones are called soul mates.

Next time you have a random encounter with someone, or they make you think twice about something, remember they were put there for a reason.


Stop worrying, let go, and always

stay.beautiful

i need to..

set yourself free.

moments

moments. stop and think of the last time you slowed down and actually cherished the passing moment. there are so many in our lives. there are moments in our lives when we have no idea what's going on and have no idea where we are going. there's moments when we think we have our whole lives planned out and it suddenly all comes crashing down in the blink of an eye. there's moments when sometimes you feel like you just have to give up and let fate take over. there's moments when you have been so strong for so long that a breakdown is inevitable.

yet, there are also those moments when you can't imagine ever being happier. those moments that you never want to end, that feel like a movie. those moments when you think that nothing can ever go wrong. the moments where everything is just right. where the people in your life make you feel like you are becoming the best you can be. 

i guess lately i've been so caught up that I haven't taken a step back to recognize them all. the moments that taught me life lessons. the moments in which i couldn't hold on any longer, so I held on to God instead. we always hear that life is about these moments, but do any of us really recognize that? it's just crazy to me that there is so much more to this life then what we see in front of us. the past happened so you could be right here, right now. and right now is happening so that the future can be brighter then you've ever imagined. whether or not you know what's going to be in your life, don't forget to cherish these moments now. because you will never, ever get them back. 

my advice to you tonight, and to myself:

be happy. be sad. cry until you can't breathe. laugh until you can't breathe. smile at the ones who've hurt you. scream into your pillow. some nights, just go to sleep. stop thinking so much. when you think you can't go anymore, just take one more step. when love comes around, just jump. don't hold anything back, ever. 

forever, 

stay.beautiful

finding what's been lost.

Just some random thoughts again that I need/ want to get down while they are running through my head. I've been so freaking confused lately. About what you ask? I'd like to know myself actually. I feel like in high school, I knew who I was, and who I wanted to be. I didn't care what people thought about me, I just did my own thing. Yet once I got to college, I feel like conformity is what EVERYONE is doing. Literally. And especially being in a sorority (not bashing it, I can't explain how glad I am to be in G-Phi) but you get what I'm saying. The need to feel a part of the group, wearing bows, heels, short skirts, being tan, etc., etc. It's just all getting too much for me. I'm losing me. And I'm not sure if this is too much, too personal for the blogging world but I just need to get it out. I'm losing who I want to become. I always always wanted to be different and I didn't care that people thought I was. I liked how people knew me as the girl that doesn't dress like everyone else and I was known by my style. Now, what's special about me? How am I any different then any other girl on campus trying to figure out who she is supposed to be and trying to impress anyone and everyone around her but losing herself instead?

I keep wondering about what other people think of certain things and how I'm perceived by others but what does it even matter? Why the hell am I so freaking concerned with what everyone else thinks about me? Who knows. If anyone can tell me, I'd greatly appreciate knowing. Anyways, I guess my quest now is just to figure out what I love- God, my family, fashion, art- and put my whole heart into that. I guess I just always feel like I need someone there, yet God constantly shows me that I'm okay on my own. And I just need to remember that I'm not alone. I'm not alone at all in fact. And to just be me. Whoever that is. I think one of the reasons why I've been lacking so much in inspiration and not being able to find any is because I'm looking. I need to stop looking, whether it be for inspiration, happiness, peace. Whatever it is I'm looking for, I need to stop looking. Because in the moment I stop looking, that's when I'm going to find it.

I guess the beauty of life isn't wondering what everyone else thinks about a situation, it's figuring out your opinions about things and never backing down from those. Life's about not staying true to what everyone else thinks, but staying true to yourself. Even if you're not quite sure who that is yet.


Lord,
Tonight, my plea to You is to help me to shape who I am going to become around You. I get so caught up in worldly things and that's when I lose my trust in You. Help me to know what You want me to do with my life. Open my heart to the graces that You constantly pour upon me and help me to know that anything that comes my way in the future, You will be there and give me the grace to overcome it. Just help me to let go, and let You work.
Amen.


be inspired, be independent, and always

stay.beautiful

forgiveness.

Wow, I haven't been here for a while. Just a fair warning: this is probably going to be super long. Stop reading now if you don't have another 20 minutes to give me. Just kidding, don't stop reading. But I'm pretty serious about the length. :)

I've been thinking about this blog a lot lately. What I would say on my next post, who I want to see it, what message I want to get across to all my fellow bloggers, and non bloggers. The following words are what I've been pondering in my heart now for a while. So I think that it's time to finally get them down on paper...or computer. The title of this blog is simple: forgiveness. But holy crap, it might be the most difficult thing I've ever encountered; yet, I can't figure out why. My whole life I've been able to forgive people for things they have done to me. I've never been one to hold grudges and I commend myself for that. It's so easy to hold a grudge against someone and not forgive them for what they've done to you.

Side note: This weekend I went on a retreat called Koinonia. If you've never gone...GO! Seriously, it's the most amazing way to get away from the real world for a weekend and such a relaxing place to just figure out what is going on in your life. Last year, I went on a retreat just like it at this time. Amongst many, many things going on in my life, it was an awesome opportunity to surrender to God and really listen to what He was saying to me.
 
So on this retreat, I honestly didn't have anything to really think about (or so I thought.) Life has been going pretty good and I've just been trucking along through school, G-Phi, work, friends, family, etc. A few things have randomly come up that have thrown me off a little, but I haven't let them affect me and my prayer life has been at a really good place. But that was just the thing. All I was doing was going with the flow of things, not really knowing where I was going to. I realized that, not once, have I sat down and really thought about what God wanted for my life. I knew that what I had planned for my life what most definitely not what God had planned and I've finally come to peace with that. Now, I know what He doesn't want for me...but what DOES He want for me? I haven't yet figured that out. But over the next 54 (or so) days, I'm going to hopefully figure it out.

But back to the forgiveness thing. One thing I've been telling myself literally over, and over, and over, and over again is to "let go." Let go of anything in the way of my relationship with God. Let go of the past, it doesn't define you. Let go of anything that destroys your inner peace. Yada yada yada. What I've finally discovered (with God's help of course) is that to actually let go, to really have that inner peace that I've so long desired, I MUST forgive. And that scares the crap out of me. Forgive? Seriously? The past is in the past, let's keep it there, right? Wrong. I may tell myself to keep it there, but until I surrender my fears and hopes to God and forgive those (that one) that hurt me, I'm never going to be able to really, truly, let go. I read a quote, "God pushes us to love those we don't like." And how true is that. I'm not using this post to tell anyone that I've forgiven them, because I haven't yet. But I just want you guys to know that forgiveness may be one of the hardest things in life, but it is for sure one of the most amazing ways we can free ourselves and finally let go.

My challenge to you: embrace everything you have today, for you may not have it tomorrow. Forgive those who have hurt you, you will become freer than you've ever been. And finally, most importantly, never forget that you are worth it. Seriously. Every time you walk into mass and receive Jesus Christ in the Eucharist, He is telling you that you are worth it. You have to believe it yourself.

"If You want it Jesus, I want it too."
-Blessed Chiara

Remember you are worth it, forgive your enemies, and always

stay.beautiful

for auld lang syne.

today appears to be the last day of the year that changed my life..or rather the year that my life changed. I would like to take a few minutes to recollect the amazing things that have happened in 2011 and share my hope for myself and everyone else in 2012. 

   In March of 2011, I permanently marked my side with the words, "Let go. Let God." I want this to serve as a reminder to myself and everyone who sees it to stop trying to plan your lives and to let God handle them. We have no idea what our lives have in store for us and who are we to plan it? Even though I learned the hard way, I know that God has so many more blessings in store for me in 2012 and I cannot wait for Him to manifest his wondrous plans for my life. 

   I officially graduated Pius X High School as an Honor Graduate and finished my high school career with a 4.0. A few weeks after graduating I set off to cross another big thing off my bucket list, visit Europe. I travelled with my amazing aunt and three best friends and couldn't have asked for a better way to transition into my new life as a college freshman. Also in May, I got the most amazing job ever at the most loved shop in Lincoln, Euphoria. I would have never thought that my workplace would be my safe haven from the stressful world of school work and what not, but it is. I couldn't be more thankful to have met all of the girls I work with and the every day encounters with each and every customer make me feel like I'm making a difference in the Euphoria world. I have come to learn so much more about myself, others, and the amazing world around us and I couldn't ask for a better job. 

   In August, I joined the most amazing sorority ever, Gamma Phi Beta. The very first day of rush, I met the woman who has been my role model ever since then, Mallory Vogt. She is one of my best friends and I'm so blessed to have met you, Mal. Also during rush, I met my best friend and future bridesmaid, Taylor Ehrman. I could go on and on about this girl but all I will say is, Taylor, thank you for saving me. I love you to the moon and back and there and back. You are truly my best friend and I can't wait to see where we both end up in life. Jessica Bullington  (and her Jesus hugs) has also changed my life and I couldn't ask for better girlfriends than these two girls. Jess, your faith and strength amaze me every day and your smile is so contagious. Julia McCormick, thank you for being the best mom I could ever ask for and for challenging me to grow in my faith each and every day. I'm so thankful for every single girl in Gamma Phi Beta and each and every one of you girls has made an impact on my life. 

   To add on to this amazing year, my sister got engaged to the greatest guy in the world (besides my daddy) Brian Callan. I can't wait to have him as my brother and Brian, thank you for coming into our lives. 

   Last but not least, my parents have been the most amazing role models I could ever ask for. My dad's strength, will, determination, and generosity never cease to amaze me. He is the most caring, loving, hard-working guy I've ever met and he holds Kelly and I to those standards as well. Thank you for that pops. My mom's faith shines through every single day and I can feel her prayers surround me even when I am away at school. I feel so proud to come home to the family these two people have established and I hope that one day my children are as thankful for me as I am for you guys. 

Lord, 

   A lot of things happened in 2011, to say the least. Many crosses came my way and I would never have been able to carry them without Your constant love for me. I realize now that every time a door closes, You are right around the corner with something even more amazing. Thank you for everything You've given me in 2011. I pray that in 2012, I do Your will for me, whatever that may be. Help me to make an impact on each and every person that I meet and to never stop loving with my whole heart. Lord, help me to Let go, and let You take over my life. 

Happy New Year everyone. 

Reflect, relax, let go, and always

stay.beautiful 

so blessed

so blessed doesn't begin to describe my life at this point. everyday I wake up there is something or someone in my life that makes me appreciate everything I've been through and everyone I've encountered. Yes, at times I have a minor relapse and start getting sad or upset about certain things and looking at what others have in envy. But then I go into church, and I'm all of the sudden okay. I have Him. who else matters? Hunter Hayes says it perfectly in his song called, Faith to Fall Back On, when he says, "Every night I say the same old prayer. God I don't have to see You. I know that You're there." It's crazy how many twists and turns life may take. I'm so grateful that I'm getting to rekindle friendships that were lost in high school and I am beyond thankful for all the new ones I've made these past few months. I feel like every time I blog I just talk about how great and wonderful God is and how He has worked wonders in my life but it is true and I don't think that I can say it enough.
   The other day I was told by my amazing pastor at my church, "Pray for a calm, peaceful heart this Christmas. You are so beautiful, Hannah. Look at all the people around you that love you and live in this present moment." I need to do that. Tonight, on this winter Solstice, I give up all my worries, my hopes, my fears, my dreams, my ambitions, and my insecurities to God and the universe. I pray that 2012 will manifest an amazing new beginning for me and that I keep on keeping on. I am so thankful for the past, but that's what it is; the past. I have no idea what my life has in store for me but I trust God with my whole heart and I can't wait to see where I will end up.

Lord,
   Tonight, just like any night, I thank You for all You've given me. I'm so unworthy of this beautiful life and I can't tell You how much I am so thankful for it. I want to give up all of my triumphs and failures to You because I know you will make them glorify You. My desire on this earth is to do Your will. Help me to manifest Your will for my life in 2012 and to never stop smiling, never stop being positive, and to never stop adoring You.


Keep on keeping on, meditate on His love for you, and always

stay.beautiful