a thankful message.

Today I got the amazing opportunity to reflect on all the amazing things that I am thankful for in my life. Now, more than ever, I have been reflecting on the multitude of positive things and people in my life. When I walk outside in the morning, I instantly thank God for all the gifts He has poured upon me this past year. I have the most amazing family in the entire world and I have no idea where I would be without them. I am so thankful and am so blessed with so many things in my life. I found the most amazing group of girls on UNL's campus and I cannot express how happy and blessed I am to be a part of the greatest sorority house ever. I've found my best friends there and I hope they know how happy I am that each and every one of them came into my life.
   Most of all, I am thankful for my faith. Without it, I would be nowhere. Each and every day I wake up, I can't help but see God in everything. In the trees, in the people passing me, in the hard times, at the Newman Center. He's everywhere and I am beyond thankful for that.


Lord,
   This past year was definitely a roller coaster ride, but I would never be where I am on the ride without You. Thank You for never giving up on me and for always fighting for me. I realize that when one door closes, You always let another one open and You've opened so many doors for me. The words, "Thank you" do not even come close to expressing my gratitude for You.
   Help me, Lord, to never forget Your love for me. Help me to be satisfied with You, and You alone. Fill my heart with Your love and remember, always remember, how thankful I am for You.


Breathe in some fresh air, be thankful, and always

stay.beautiful

learning to be satisfied

Be Satisfied with Me

by St. Anthony of Padua

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.

Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry
Don't look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don't look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly. I AM God.
Believe it and be satisfied

and she whispered...

(it's my birthday). in the silence of my own bedroom in my own bed I sit down to write. What a perfect place to do it, yet what an extremely different feeling after 3 months of being away. I think of all the memories here: in this house, in this room. Three months ago, I couldn't deal with it all. Yet now, I have dealt with it, and moved on. Those words seemed impossible yet I finally let my guard down, and let God take control of my life.
     Why is it so hard for us to just let go? Let go of everything and let God handle it. It's so easy to say, Let go.  Let God. It's so easy to have it tattooed on your side (my side :) ) yet it's so hard to just do. Well, once you do it, you feel such an overwhelming amount of grace and compassion. God has worked wonders in my life and continues to every day. I am beyond thankful for everything right now and I couldn't ask for a better life. Yes, there are some rough days. But at the end of the day, it takes me hours to count my blessings.
    Thank you, Lord, for everything You've done in my life.



Count your blessings, then count them again, and always

stay.beautiful

do it anyway.

I saw a quote from Mother Teresa today, I thought I would share:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.


The past few weeks I've been overwhelmed with the goings on of my new college life. Everything happening on campus has kept me very busy. I feel like I haven't gotten any time to just sit down and think. Tonight, on my way to a holy hour, I had a talk with myself. I've met many people at the University and I love how I can just start over. No one knows my story, my past, or my future. I get to create how I want people to see me and who I am here at UNL. I've met a ton of new people who I feel as though I will be life-long friends with. But I realized how scared I am to open myself up to someone again. If I hold back my emotions, maybe I won't get hurt. I didn't realize how scared I am to get hurt again. Something that I tell myself every day is to "keep moving forward." No matter what. No matter what gets in your way, who gets in your way, keep moving forward. This is your life, and God isn't going to give you a life you aren't strong enough to live. So even if you know the outcome, even if you might get hurt. Even if your heart is going to get broken, love anyway. Because the only thing in life worth living for is love. Love of self, love of God, and love of others. 


P.S And to the one who broke my heart, thank you. I wouldn't have gotten this strong without loving that much. And even though I know I might get hurt again, I'm going to love anyway.




Forgive someone, forgive yourself, and always,


stay.beautiful

my prayer to You

Dear God,

    As I begin this new chapter in my life, I have been so caught up in all of it that I haven't sat down and thanked You. Lord, last night I listened to people whose lives you have changed purely by loving them. Multiple times I heard, "God is Love" and I was surrounded by an entire auditorium of college students who believe that with their whole hearts. Just being in this room gave me goosebumps because I knew it was because of You that all these people were gathered there. 

    Through all the changes in my life, one thing has stayed constant and that is Your love for me. Whether I'm on a God-high and going to mass everyday or I'm feeling separated from You, I know Your love for me will never end. Lord, help me love You the same way you love me. Agape. I trust You Lord, and even though it is hard, it gets easier every day. You never cease to amaze me through Your works in my life. 

Amen.

Be thankful, sit in silence, and always

stay.beautiful

    

a new outlook

A lot of things have been happening recently that have caused me to take a step back from my life and ponder things. I guess that's what this blog is all about, writing about the things I have learned from these such times. It's hard not to take a step back and think about the past while I pack up my room, and my life pretty much, to move into the dorms for college. I've come across a lot of old pictures and writings and more pictures, that remind me of the years I spent at Pius. What an amazing four years I just spent of my life. I look back on high school and it just makes me smile. If you would've asked me to do that a week ago, I wouldn't have had the same reaction. It was hard to look back at high school (and my relationship) and actually be happy that it happened. I said to myself many times, "If it was going to end like this, why did it even happen?" Unfortunately, those words even came out of my mouth as I was talking to my second sister Brit. The words she came back with stuck in my head for the rest of the night. She said, "I think it happened because it taught you how to love someone that much." I look back on it now and hit myself in the head. Duh...
     I said in my last blog that it felt like the love between two people just disappeared and I still think that it feels that way but I know that isn't the truth. The past few days I've come to realize that love never ceases to exist between two people. It may not show itself as vividly, but I refuse to believe that if you have truly loved someone with all your heart, that that love just goes away. A lady I work with told me, "Instead of being sad or upset about someone or something, send blessings their way." I think in any circumstance, that is the key thing. As hard as it is, be happy for that person. So wherever you are, I am sending blessings your way. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I hope life treats you exceptionally well.
    I've learned to never try and plan your life, that's His job. And whether you believe it or not, everything will always work out according to His plan. So right now, I am putting all my trust in the Big Guy. He knows what He's doing.


Say a prayer, never stop loving, and always

stay.beautiful

where to begin..

It has literally been forever since the last time I was on here. Which is funny because I think in the last month, I've learned so many lessons about the world, other people, and myself, and just haven't had any time to document them. But don't worry, I won't write them all on this one post. Hopefully, I will get back into the swing of things and blog more often.
  
    This summer has been an interesting one to say the least. It's the first summer in about five years that I've actually been "on my own" and I'm taking it day by day. A word that has come up a little more than I'd like in the past few months has been the word, "change." I was never afraid of this word, nor did it ever have much of an effect on me. It was always just an inevitable process that was going to happen to everyone, including me. I guess I just never knew to what level of degree that word was going to have on my life. I've seen it take it's toll on many people's lives, including my family and friends and honestly, never thought twice about it. But now it seems as though I cannot escape it. Even though I want to run and hide in my basement all by myself and shut out all the worries about the future, the emotion between two people that has seemed to completely disappear, the pain the last 7 months has caused, and everything that is changing in my life. I just want to shut it all out and hide. Yet, I know that running away from my troubles is not what I was raised to do. I was raised to confront them, and deal with them whether I wanted to or not.
    The thing is, is that I'm sick of dealing with everything. I'm so sick of having it all shoved in my face and breaking down right when I think that I'm strong. But I've learned that all the cliches in life are true. When life gives you one hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile. So the next few days, I'm going to be looking for my reasons. My task for you, find yours too.

Sing in the shower, make some cookies, and always

stay.beautiful